random.rants

I'm sure you can tell from the post title I'm slowly returning to my roots.. the source of glass.heart.. the emo-ness. Sigh. I really don't want to. Why is this happening?


To be honest these 3-4 years have probably been the most vibrant ones for me.. and though I know they will only get more vibrant.. I can't help but look back at them.





and tear?





tear apart my conscience and my sanity perhaps.. or just tear cuz I can't handle it? You know there's just so many emotions involved - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!

Is it because finals is tomorrow?

Is it? Or is it because I'm missing something or someone - yet I know where to find it.

Does it have anything to do with girl stuff? - Kege (hahahha good one laa.. funny how guys get emo when it comes to girls - see not ALL guys are blockheads)







Almost wanted to dig up all the old photos from friendster AND facebook and just.. start a walk down memory lane.










Maybe I didn't have the balls to do it.











I'm afraid I couldn't stop.











No.

I'm afraid I can't even start.

I really hope it's the exam stress thats piling on me..













but then again i f&#@ing miss you guys. so much.

Fact of the day: You were my muse and we both didn't know it. I didn't realise that the songs were only sung whenever you were here.

But even with you here - they'll never be sung again, ever.

Hesitation is not a reason.

Not a reason at all.

Catharsis - "
elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression".

In English, it means the breaking down of a complicated matter, by allowing the person affected by the matter to relive the feelings of fear/trauma which caused the complication in order to recover.

I so need it.

It was on your nick so long ago. Too long. Too dumb of me not to notice. Hesistance took me once again. So indecisive to even send you a message... sigh..

See you soon. It's 58 mins left till we celebrate you. Happy birthday. =)

I am a victim of rapid hope-loss. Seriously.

It's late now. Just got done with a ball game which was rather amusing as usual =). It's after 12 when my brain gets hyper while my body is getting more deficient..
Ever wondered how your brain can take your current state onto a huge trip down memory lane so easily? It's not difficult. Personally, I self-feed a emotional playlist.

Right now my fingers are glued to the keyboard. Supposed to be waiting for Nelson to be on so I could support his online game character. Too many thoughts are running through the heavy traffic street of my brain. Kinda reminds me of the Heineken ad, where the dude sees the city around him turn classic.

I have so much in my head right now I feel the need to write a song. Now the only difference is there's no muse. Songwriting has never been so.. empty. Neither has it been for other parts of my life.

Departure. I wonder. How much does a person's presence affect their friends? You see the different categories in different eyes.
You get people - "=/ Hey I'm really gonna miss you, hope to see you soon! Come back quick!!" Then there's the - "Safe trip, hope you travel safe and all the best in your future.."
Also... " Sorry I couldn't be there to wish you personally.."
As well as all the texts... oh those not-to-forget **HUGZZ**
In the end, are these people really close to each other connected by a friendship bond? And what level of friendship are we looking at here?

It hurts to see even your everyday friend that you joke with walk out of your life, never knowing when he/she might be back. It hurts more if you share a childhood with that person. It could hurt even more if you had the above as well as feelings of affection for the departee.

Well. Personally, I think, it's the thought that counts most. Would give the runner-up to sincerity. And the 3rd place to effort. Nevertheless, it hurts to see a friend leave, and being unsure of when he/she might return...

This is a post dedicated to some of my friends who have left the country as well as those who might leave soon.. A little shout out to you guys out there - **I wish I could be where you are right now and I wish you could be where I am right now, as friends we were, as friends we will still be. Here's to all the good times we had and those that are yet to come.

** - To: Jane, Chai Ying, Alan, Victor Bu, Elisa, Chu Xiang, Mun Yee, Yi Kinn, Joan, Joyce, Eugene, Aik Oui and Huey! (Please forgive me if I excluded anyone here, it was honestly not intentional. It's just after 1. My consciousness depreciates.)

Warmest regards,

Chee Seng!